10 Stress-Free Steps for Winning Her Number and Her Heart

On July 28, 2016 by Editor

10 Stress-Free Steps for Winning Her Number and Her Heart

woman across the roomPicture this: You’re with your friends at your regular Friday night hangout destination. Amidst the many faces, one face draws your attention. In between friendly conversations with your best pals, you sneak a couple of glances at the woman across the room.

Your heart skips a beat when she flashes a smile at you. The smile makes you nervous and you look away embarrassed. You stare intensely at your beer glass as if you are playing the role of Hamlet contemplating Yorick’s skull.

And, you wonder, “To approach or not to approach, that’s the question.”

Failing to resolve the dilemma, you turn to the corner where the woman was. Unfortunately, she’s not there anymore. You mentally curse yourself, and say, “What’s wrong with you. Why couldn’t you just go talk to her?”

sadnessThe question is simple enough: Why didn’t you talk to her? Regrettably, the answer doesn’t come to you. You manage to shake the gloom off for a while, but when you’re back in your apartment, the sadness and desperation creeps in again. You feel cornered and you surrender to the feeling of loneliness.

But, there is a way out.

You might think that there is something that you’re doing or not doing that’s stopping you. But, that’s not true. To act different, you need to be different. You need to grow into someone who can produce the result you desire.

But, the question is: Are you ready to re-invent yourself and become an irresistible man? Here are some simple ways to win her number, and hopefully, her heart, too.

1. Understanding the Real Reason People Don’t Take Action

In the movie Forrest Gump, Tom Hanks plays the role of a man with a low I.Q. who goes on to become incredibly successful. Despite the man’s low intelligence, he had an incredible bias towards taking action. Ironically, it was his low I.Q. that allowed him to act without thinking too much about the consequences.

plan the next stepUnfortunately, most people plan extensively, but never act because they become victims of analysis paralysis. If you consider the nature of cause and effect, you’ll realize that you can never prepare for every eventuality. You just need to plan the next step. When you actually take the step, you’ll reach a new place from where you can plan the next step. Thus, step by step, you will reach your destination.

So, for the time being, forget about winning the woman’s heart. What is the next step in your journey? Read on to learn more.

2. The Truth Behind Attraction

I’m going to read your mind: You’re reading this article hoping to find something new and different from what you’ve read in other articles giving dating advice.

Did I get close? I’m no psychic, but it’s a reasonable assumption to make. Well, that’s the secret of attraction – new and different. This is because new and different is interesting.

do interesting thingsAnd people naturally gravitate towards things that are interesting.  However, this doesn’t mean you dye your hair electric blue or get that new flaming skull tattoo. Instead, what you must do is get out of your comfort zone. To become an interesting person, you must do interesting things. So, every week do one thing that you’ve never done before.

While engaging in the activity, focus on your experience. Pay attention to how you felt before, during, and after the activity. If possible, shoot a video of yourself.

For example: This weekend, try to learn a new skill, such as learning how to roller skate, cooking a lasagna, or learning how to swim.

3. A Powerful Yet Ignored Tool for Seduction

Neil Strauss, an author and a world famous pick up artist, says, “Working out needs to be a borderline obsession for you.” You need to be in good shape if you want to score well with the women. There’s no two ways about it. Your physique plays an important role in the seduction game.

However, you already know this, don’t you? But, do you work out? That’s why this is a powerful, yet ignored, secret to seduction. That said, you’re not going for chiseled abs or bulging biceps.

Working outHere’s a new way to set your fitness goal.

Go to your wardrobe and pick five shirts and five trousers you have stopped wearing because they became too tight. Now, arrange the clothes according to the time you last wore them. In other words, put the tightest one at the end and the least tight one on top. Your fitness goal is to work your way to the bottom of the pile.

This is an ongoing goal. Even after you get a date, don’t stop. Also, make a commitment that you are never going to purchase new clothes until you’re at the bottom of the pile.

While working out, do a mix of cardio and strength training. In addition to that, modify your diet to eat healthy. Take it easy though; don’t try to do everything in one week. Give yourself at least six months to succeed. Don’t worry the prize is well worth the effort.

4. An Effective Technique to Start a Conversation

Striking a conversation is the first step in any relationship. But, most people don’t know how to begin. Here’s an effective technique that you can use to start a conversation with anyone:

Always begin with open-ended questions. Unlike close-ended questions, you cannot answer open-ended questions with a simple yes or now.


  • conversationClose-ended: “Hey, is this the first time you’re here?”
  • Open-ended: “Hey, I’ve never tried this drink before, what does it taste like?”

Open-ended questions work better than close-ended questions because you’ll find topics to latch on to in her answers. If she just says yes or no, there’s nothing of any substance to continue the conversation.

But asking open-ended questions doesn’t come naturally to people. Therefore, you should practice this form of question.

To do this, try this exercise:

  • Tune in to your favorite TV show.
  • Somewhere towards the middle of the show, pause it.
  • Challenge yourself to come up with five open-ended questions based on the frame on screen.
  • Don’t worry about the answer – you’re training yourself to ask open-ended questions.

This method of training is effective because during the TV show, you’ll expose yourself to different settings, such as a restaurant, park or sidewalk. In this manner, you will be prepared to approach people no matter what the situation.

5. A Simple Way to Deliver a Compelling Introduction

You would agree that the most important thing that she must remember about you is your name. Thus, learning how to introduce yourself in a memorable way is a skill that you need to work on.

Use a mix of the following techniques to impress your name into her memory:

  • introduce yourselfConnect your name with a famous celebrity. For example, “I’m Jim, like in Jim Morrison the rock star.”
  • Mention yourself in the third person during the conversation. This works well when you’re sharing an anecdote. For example, “I studied to be an engineer, but at some point down the line I said to myself, ‘Jim, writing is your passion, not designing crank shafts.’ From that point on, I decided to become a writer.”
  • Use the half paper tear method. Write your name down on a paper while exchanging numbers using the half paper tear method. Look for more details on the method later on in this article.
  • Label an accessory. For example, label your mobile phone cover with a big bold “J.” In addition to impressing your name into her memory, you also need to learn how to talk about yourself.

For example: Let’s say Jim is a software engineer. Here are some ways in which he can introduce himself in an attention-grabbing manner:

  • “I’m a software engineer, but that’s what I get paid to do. But, if you had a guitar to string, I’d do it for free.”

In this example, Jim adds an element of zest to his introduction by talking about his interest in guitars.

  • “I’m the guy who makes your cell phone work. No, I’m kidding. But, I do design applications for phones.”

Jim exaggerates what he does, and then corrects the impression immediately. This not only adds some humor into his introduction but also makes it interesting.

  • “I’m a software engineer, but only on weekdays.”

Intentionally Jim leaves out what he does on weekends. This creates a knowledge gap in her mind. Psychologically, humans can’t stand knowledge gaps. So, she’ll be compelled to ask Jim what he does on weekends.

  • “I’m a software engineer. Do you want to trade jobs with me?”

This is an interesting route to take because the answer leads to hilarious situations.

  • “I am software engineer, but I like to think of myself as a mad scientist.”

In this case, Jim creates a knowledge gap – she’d be itching to know why Jim thinks of himself as a mad scientist.

After you introduce yourself, you need to shift to listening mode.

6. Just Add Water: A Proven Formula to Create Instant Intimacy

This will really blow her mind, but before you can apply this, you need to get her talking about herself. You can get to this point by asking open-ended questions and showing active interest in her answers.

Use phrases that get her to emote. For example:

  • “What does it feel like to be a lawyer?”

  • “Wow, that must have been awesome. What did you do next?”
  • “Oh, I didn’t know that. Tell me more…”
  • “Hey, what does <insert exotic new term here> mean?”
  • “Did you always want to be a <insert her profession here>? What made you pick this line of work?”


You get the idea, right? Once the conversation becomes free flowing, do this:

  • Look her in the eye.
  • Monitor her exhales and inhales.
  • Match your inhales and exhales with hers.
  • Maintain the eye contact and continue to match her breathing pattern.
  • When the conversation reaches a natural break, settle down into your own rhythm and relax the eye contact.
  • Repeat this a couple of times.

When done correctly, this works like a charm every time. However, maintaining eye contact with someone is a difficult task. In order to become good at it, try the following exercise:

  • eyePractice often to get comfortable. Look yourself in the eye for two minutes every day.
  • Play the eye color game. In the eye color game, pick an eye color and a count. For example, “Today, I’m going to find ten people with blue eyes.” By playing this game, you will get comfortable with looking people in the eye.

Now comes the hardest part. You need to pull out. You might be thinking, “What in the world are you talking about, I’m doing great. Why should I stop?” You’re going to stop precisely because you’re doing great. But, before you leave, you got to get what you came for – her number.

7. The Half Paper Tear Method

Yes, you assume correctly – this technique requires a paper and a pen. Despite all the technological advances, pen and paper continues to be the best way to get a woman’s number.

Here’s how you execute the technique:

  • paper and a penMake it clear that you’re about to leave. For example, “Hey, I never thought I’d meet someone so interesting out here. But, I got go now.”
  • Take the piece of paper out of your wallet and tear it into two pieces.
  • Give one piece to her and keep one piece with you.
  • On your piece, write your name and number.
  • Give her the piece on which you wrote your name and number.
  • Next, give the pen to her.
  • If you played your cards right, this move will compel her to write her number down.

Rehearse this move a couple of times before you use it in the field. The entire motion must be fluid. If it looks like a staged event, it might spook her. Also, the piece of paper must look like something that just “happened” to be in your pocket. I use the back of old receipts for this.

When you get her number, thank her and tell her that you’ll call at a definite time. For example, “I’ll give you a call tomorrow evening okay?” And leave the building. While leaving, don’t look back. You should head straight for the door.

8. Wait, It’s Not Over Yet

On the next day, remember to call her. When you call her follow this script:

  • call herIntroduce yourself the same way as you did when you met her.
  • Tell her that you had an awesome time talking with her.
  • Apologize for leaving abruptly.
  • Express regret that you couldn’t spend more time.
  • Tell her that you’d like to know more about her and continue the conversation.
  • Suggest a place and time and ask her if it works for her.
  • If she says yes, then you’re all set for your date.
  • If she says no, then tell her that you’ll call if something interesting comes up.

9. The Secret Sauce

The process mentioned here is field tested and effective. However, it requires practice. So even if you don’t get her number, don’t discount the importance of the experience you gained.

secretHere’s the secret sauce: Walk in to this expecting to fail. That’s right; you must assume that you’re going to fail. If you expect to succeed on your first attempt, then the pressure to do well will jeopardize your efforts.

So, you have to be totally okay with failing.

Next, deliberately punch above your weight. If you’re just starting out, you might prefer to approach lady you would consider a “six,” instead of a “10,” but don’t do that – go for the 10. If you fail, there’s no problem because you’ve already made peace with failure. But, if you succeed, you got a 10.

10. An Optional Step to Turbo Charge Your Hit Rate

Like it says in the title, this step is totally optional. In order to speed up the learning process, one method that works extremely well is having a partner. Share this post with a close buddy of yours.

share your experiencesInstead of going about this on your own, you could work with a partner. However, there is one rule that you must always follow: Your partner is not your wingman. So, you should never be at the same location at the same time. For example, if you go to the bar on Friday, your partner must not go there on Friday.

After you and your friend complete a weekend mission, share your experiences with each other – both failures and success. You will benefit tremendously from this sharing.

It’s Friday night again. You are at the same place where you saw the woman from your previous visit. She didn’t show up the last couple of weeks, but you have a feeling that she’ll be here again tonight.

Lady luck smiles on you, you see her enter the bar and walk to a table in the corner. But this time, you are prepared. You set your beer glass down, and walk up to her confidently. She seems to recognize you from before and she smiles at you.

This time, the smile doesn’t rattle you. You return the smile, take a seat next to her – And the game begins.

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